Show, Don't Tell
By Raymone Lutz
Show, don't tell. We all know it’s the key to writing great stories. But how do you do it?
(Instead of providing samples of my writing--you can find some excerpts of my book at http://www.CoilsOfTheSerpent.com --I’ve decided to give you a writing tip.)
Recently, I was invited to a number of biotechnology seminars at University of California at Irvine, about one and a half hours on the freeway north from San Diego. I can’t remember the exact title of the seminar I attended that day, but it was given by a researcher in the structure of the brain in an effort to understand how it works and thereby allow computer science designers to mimic the structure and make design breakthroughs.
Central to the presentation was how the mind mirrors what it sees. If you watch someone pick up a pencil, the “grasping” area of your mind is activated, just as if you picked it up yourself. Watch someone dribble a ball, and the area of your mind that would be responsible for dribbling is activated. Sports spectators’ minds are activated just as if they are playing the sport, particularly if they’ve ever played the one they’re watching. No wonder so many people are hooked on spectator sports.
Other studies have shown that just thinking about an activity makes you get better at it as long as you visualize yourself doing it. Visualizing activates that part of your mind that would otherwise perform the activity. A study at the University of Chicago pointed this concept out very clearly. Three groups of students shot basketballs through a hoop. The first group shot a few baskets and was told to forget about the test and come back in thirty days. The second group was told to practice shooting baskets for one hour each day for the next thirty days. The third group was told to imagine shooting baskets for an hour each day for thirty days. When tested again, there was no change in the ability of the first group to shoot baskets. The students who actually practiced improved their ability by 24 percent. The students who imagined shooting baskets improved, too — by 23 percent. (I’ve heard about this study a lot but I could not find the actual study as a reference. If you come across it, please let me know.)
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The mirroring capacity of the mind is particularly impressive when it comes to facial expressions. Smile, and you’ll feel better. When other people see your smile, the mirroring capacity of their mind causes them to smile inside. Like it or not, they’ll probably smile back. Frown, and you’ll feel worse and other people will “get it” too. Who wants to be around someone who always looks mad? No one.
In your novels, if you describe the facial expressions of your characters. This is perhaps the most powerful way for you to communicate the emotion it implies. Don’t say, “she looked worried.” Describe her face.
She furrowed her brow, “I’m not sure,” she said. He raised his eyebrows, “What’s that?” She tapped her mouth with her pencil, “Tell me more.”
It’s a simple but powerful technique. You may even try to match the facial expression. The reader will either imagine the expression and will feel what the character would feel. Your readers will be able to experience the emotions of your characters instead of just hearing about them.
Sad, happy, mad, quizzical, etc. Almost without exception, these words should be abandoned in your novel. Use facial expressions and body language to describe any emotion instead of using the name of the emotion. Do this, and you’ll be showing and not telling.
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Thanks for excellent words Ray... J. Wolf
