Why journalists also need editors...
by John Wolf
"Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter"
Sure, and ghost riders in the sky crapped clouds
"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"
Beyond brillant reporting. Ya think?
"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
Ouch, two points.
"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"
What a guy! Pandas are sooo hot.
"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
Written from a bunker before the lights went out.
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"
Time wounds all heals. Whereever you go, there you are - same writer.
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
"Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge"
He probably IS the battery charge!
Click on this: next column
"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"
Weren't they fat enough?!
"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"
That's what he gets for eating that burreto bomb!
"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"
Do they taste like chicken?
"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
"Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors"
Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is....
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
Did I read that right?
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John keeps the kennels clean at the Fox&Quill Hunting Club. |
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