Looking Forward While Looking Back
by Shirley Ann Parker

Many people, and I am among them, have gladly said goodbye to the craziness of 2009, and in fact to the entire “2000s” decade. Remember as we approached Y2K, how anyone who wasn’t in denial was fearful that the modern (and not-so-modern) world could collapse due to meltdown of our computers? Those computers contained the minute intimacies of our lives, including the financial assets, the energy essentials, the water distribution compacts, the food distribution and transportation networks, and the medical records, among other critical areas. Fortunately, the disaster was averted by some forward-looking experts and those who for once humbled themselves enough to pay heed to warnings.

We didn’t even know how to refer to that first decade of the 21st Century. Should it be called the “Oh-Ohs” or the Aughts? Neither has a satisfactory sound to it, though rumor has it that the Aughts won out officially.

Not that these ten years have been all bad. Had they been so, none of us would be here today. However, human beings can only absorb so much tragedy at a time, whether personal or community or global. We need the reinforcement of encouragement to keep faith, hope and charity alive and functioning. While I have a strong belief in the next life and am not averse to storing up “brownie points” for Heaven, I am not quite resilient enough to wait until then for all of my rewards.

(For the uninitiated, brownie points originated with the youngest group of Girl Scouts and related to how they advanced in rank. To digress hugely, I lasted all of six weeks with our local Brownie troop in England.)

Getting back on track here and to mash an expression from our publishing world, I need “Just in Time” reinforcement to have even a chance at dealing with next week’s obstacle course. I have learned from Infinity author and respiratory therapist Jane Martin that life is usually not anything like what we ordered. That being so, I’ve decided we swing at life as it is thrown at us and grow stronger from all the pitches, including the change-up, the curve ball, and even the foul ball.

My successes for the past decade include meeting my Infinity Publishing community! That happened not too long after publication of Discoveries: A Journey Through Life. I’ve been writing since I was a child and publishing since I was 16 years old, but a sea change is wrought in a writer’s life when the writer is finally a published author. Your outlook upon the world changes as the light dawns that you have taken on quite another responsibility. What have I done? Have I helped anyone with this book? Have I entertained them? Was it merely a selfish indulgence to have written this work?

Discoveries was published at the same time as the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center in New York and the Pentagon. In fact, my youngest brother was here visiting from England and we had a very difficult time getting him on his preplanned flight home a few days later, so that he wouldn’t jeopardize his employment. Being the “old man” in the office (that is, being slightly over 40 years of age), he knew his employer was not much different than mine, already looking for any excuse to thin the ranks, even prior to the disasters. Fortunately, Richard arrived home safely, probably never to venture aloft again until he earns his angel’s wings.

My own technical writing employment went away on September 14, 2001 when my then employer lost a large telecom contract with United Arab Emirates. So fearful of U.S. reprisal was that nation, that the potential partner there was not even answering the phones on September 12. Instead, our national leadership reacted in a manner that went awry and the goal was never accomplished. Our prey still laughs at us from hiding, while continuing to train new operatives to attack us.

In 2002 I was drawn into the ultimate self-publishing field where the author absorbs all of the costs of publication of a book through establishing their own publishing company. From this, the author then reaps all the profits, or so they say. It was a natural learning experience and was also a waste of money, since I haven’t recouped even the printing costs. With Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and the other big chains demanding a 55% discount, there is no way a smaller-than-small publisher can compete. However, I’m happy to say that the book will shortly be republished by Infinity Publishing.

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In the remaining years of the decade, I survived repeated periods of unemployment, as well as the toxic mortgage industry, and I have the scars and now the grey hairs to show for it. However, I have not been allowed to transfer around to gain the knowledge I needed to be a productive technical writer in the field. All I can suggest is that you steer your children away from the financial arena, unless perhaps they are geniuses as CPAs.

I also survived being spied on at home and at work, including trespassers in our backyard, long before my notary public commission was up for renewal. For the latter, I successfully passed tougher examinations and another background check, though to what purpose I am not sure. I decline to notarize in the corporate world, since I do not care for their bending of rules that are put in place by the Secretary of State, not to be manipulated for the convenience of a CEO’s direct reports. In addition, corporations choose those who are to be notaries public in their ranks, as if they own them. Expect a great tightening of the laws and regulations, if you haven’t seen that coming already. Identity theft is a major risk to our nation, as well as to individuals.

Given our natural mortality, I’m sure almost everyone has lost a dear relative or friend or companion animal, perhaps several, during the past decade. Others whom we expected to leave us “any day” still remain, suffering greatly. Only God knows what His purpose and special rewards are for them. For those who have no belief in the immortal existence of our spirits, these losses are more keenly mourned. On the other hand, those of us who know from sacred experiences in our families that life does indeed continue will again see everyone we have ever known, if we choose. Of course, some family reunions will likely be as irritating there as they were here! Great Aunt Harriet is still the bitchy gossip and Uncle Tiddles, well, the least said about him, the better.

In spite of it all, am I optimistic about 2010 and the next decade? Well, sort of. It certainly didn’t get off to an auspicious start. If I were in charge of my life, I might feel better about the future, but my life could also then be a bigger mess than it already is, i.e. more painful, more abusive, and more anxiety-ridden. But I’m not in charge and I don’t know what to expect. So in a way, I’m scared witless after what I’ve already been through. Yet it is better to be positive, even when experience has shown that the pessimist is usually right. We accomplish far more good in the world when we can pick our attitudes up out of the muck, rinse them off, and put that smiling face back on. We need to do this even if our hearts sometimes ache with the loneliness of Eleanor Rigby who stored her face by the front door.

If we think we haven’t the faith to be positive, why do we get out of bed in the morning? Why do we leave the house to forage for our daily needs? Why do we flee home with the baying of hounds at our heels?

I am not speaking only of Cerberus, renamed Fluffy by J.K. Rowling, but of the beautiful, well-trained hounds that chase the fox for the sheer joy of it. North American foxhounds are not trained or permitted to kill foxes,1 (though it sometimes happens by accident), but they will give chase in full cry until the incredibly smart fox goes to ground, the whipper-in or the huntsman turns them, or they lose the scent. And we, the exhausted proxy prey, stagger in, gasping for breath and laughing because we won—again! We do indeed have the faith to face our tomorrows.

1. Refer to Masters of Foxhounds Association of North America website:  http://www.mfha.com/abfo.htm#his

That's for the story Shirley... John Wolf

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